SAY NO TO NEW MENUDO

There's a classic episode of The Brady Bunch in which oldest brother Greg is selected by some shady music executives to be the new Johnny Bravo.

Greg later learns that he was picked not for his singing ability or guitar skills but because he was the right size to fit into an existing (and quite ugly) suit to be worn by whomever was to be Bravo.

Epic Records and MTV soon will be doing business with five teenage Johnny Bravos. Billboard.com recently reported that next year, Epic will release a new Menudo album and MTV will air a 10-episode reality series about the group.

All that exists right now is a familiar group name -- essentially, a brand. In classic prefab fashion, tryouts will be held in various U.S. cities in the coming months to determine who will be in the new version of Menudo.

Back in the day, the ever-changing Menudo was a Latin pop phenomenon, at one time counting Ricky Martin among its members. But despite what's been said about the group's worldwide success, Menudo never really resonated with mainstream U.S.A.

According to the Recording Industry Association of America, Menudo has zero gold and platinum albums to its credit. As for Top 40 Billboard pop hits -- zilch. It's best -- and only -- entry on the Billboard Hot 100 chart was "Hold Me," which peaked at No. 62 in 1985.

Despite those facts, the new Menudo likely will follow much of the old Menudo playbook -- otherwise, the name would be different. The new Menudo will have five members, just like the other versions of the group, so it's obvious that the powers to be are mindful of staying "true" to the original and, ultimately, making sure the new guys fit the proverbial Johnny Bravo suits.

Sounds like the New Monkees scenario all over again, 20 years later.

And chances are the new Menudo will become a funny pop-culture footnote, too.